I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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