you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
