let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
