She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
