and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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