dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
