Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
