You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Your cock deserves a montage
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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