Texts From Last Night

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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.

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  (662): My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room. http://tfl.nu/yex2
  Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (782)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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  (801): Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail http://tfl.nu/5fc6
  Replies (47) Good night (4565) Bad night (961)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night

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  (917): you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night http://tfl.nu/accx
  Replies (8) Good night (1153) Bad night (6608)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.

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  (905): Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home. http://tfl.nu/by9e
  Replies (18) Good night (5108) Bad night (850)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.

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  (512): We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos. http://tfl.nu/fazf
  Replies (6) Good night (2517) Bad night (1773)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.

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  (330): I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse. http://tfl.nu/kxn7
  Replies (2) Good night (1921) Bad night (760)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"

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  (860): I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is" http://tfl.nu/o552
  Replies (1) Good night (1378) Bad night (575)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.

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  (615): I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause. http://tfl.nu/2yit
  Replies (8) Good night (1601) Bad night (831)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.

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  (519): I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes. http://tfl.nu/2r4g
  Replies (12) Good night (2239) Bad night (487)
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  (818): View more from California

  Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

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  (818): Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs? http://tfl.nu/leke
  Replies (13) Good night (937) Bad night (598)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (509) Bad night (1199)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head

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  (412): I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head http://tfl.nu/38tu
  Replies (3) Good night (1343) Bad night (503)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Is this an intervention?

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  (770): You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina" (678): Is this an intervention? http://tfl.nu/de9f
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (349)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I had a salad today

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies

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  (978): When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one (847): I had a salad today (978): Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies http://tfl.nu/rhtj
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (476)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

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  (330): You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/exdp
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (294)

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