somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada