You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
