then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
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As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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