Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?

(513): View more from Ohio

um, yeah. i think it is.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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(408): View more from California

there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(806): View more from Texas

You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."

(1-806): View more from Texas

Best pick-up line ever!

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(904): View more from Florida

she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...

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(631): View more from New York

We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.

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(205): View more from Alabama

You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.

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