Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight

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  (716): I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/nte9
  Replies (24) Good night (698) Bad night (4970)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.

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  (502): I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party. http://tfl.nu/23sk
  Replies (17) Good night (1129) Bad night (4834)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.

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  (204): they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control. http://tfl.nu/p5nx
  Replies (9) Good night (2070) Bad night (4812)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense

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  (207): My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense http://tfl.nu/p3xl
  Replies (11) Good night (6379) Bad night (1075)
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  (+48): View more from Poland

  there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover

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  (+48): there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover http://tfl.nu/ynqc
  Replies (13) Good night (1117) Bad night (3243)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.

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  (570): I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy. http://tfl.nu/0avy
  Replies (34) Good night (2784) Bad night (1612)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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  (717): so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody... http://tfl.nu/6y77
  Replies (1) Good night (3177) Bad night (802)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'

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  (902): Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp' http://tfl.nu/0a7v
  Replies (8) Good night (1307) Bad night (3911)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days

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  (410): You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days http://tfl.nu/jiwq
  Replies (4) Good night (603) Bad night (1455)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.

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  (907): I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup. http://tfl.nu/rbz2
  Replies (3) Good night (475) Bad night (763)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?

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  (330): She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water? http://tfl.nu/897n
  Replies (2) Good night (1234) Bad night (386)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San

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  (847): Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San http://tfl.nu/3b2q
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (346)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.

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  (518): He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard. http://tfl.nu/suwu
  Replies (6) Good night (403) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.

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  (610): Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow. http://tfl.nu/yt6q
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now

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  (661): I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now http://tfl.nu/9xhp
  Replies (2) Good night (471) Bad night (231)

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