Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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