Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
