Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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