He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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