Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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