Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Im part way to drunk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
