I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
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