Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Dear god my vagina.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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