Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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