oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
