Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
