There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
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She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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