Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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