escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need moral support for this bender
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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