Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
