She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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