so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize