I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
