Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
