my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
