I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
