Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
