Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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