Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
