she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
