**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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