my soul wont recognize me after tonight
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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