maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
