puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
