Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
