I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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