My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
