i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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