Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.

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(805): View more from California

do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?

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(302): View more from Delaware

just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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(650): View more from California

Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question

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(512): View more from Texas

Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

(512): View more from Texas

Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I think I sprained my soul last night

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(630): View more from Illinois

I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.

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