Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
