I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i am craving dick and cupcakes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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