come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
