i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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