you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
