How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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