It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
