and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
