he thought i was a dude.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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