Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
