The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
