I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
