He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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