So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
